Cat From The Mat

Happy Interdependence Day!

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Created on Wednesday, 10 July 2013 16:06

Every July 4th, the US celebrates the notion of freedom.  As the country moved away FROM colonial confines, there emerged a new autonomy on what TO become.  In Sanskrit, the term “Svatantrya” can be defined as self-sovereignty.  The word presumes the license to choose.  And with choice comes responsibility.  “Sva” means self.  According to yogin Rod Stryker, “tantra is the application of any technique that moves you beyond your limitations and closer to the life you seek.”

This past Independence Day, I experienced a rather unexpected type of liberation.  While on an outbound flight (during which I had planned to do lots of backlogged work), my laptop would not start.  Upon arrival, I brought it in for servicing where it was sent off for at least a week.  Untethered from my laptop, at first I was beside myself.  I had tasks to do but could do nothing about it.  And then a huge wave of relief passed over me and my newfound freedom.  By unplugging, I got recharged and more plugged into the tactile world.  I finally had time to finish reading Marshall Rosenberg’s seminal book, Nonviolent Communication (NVC): A Language of Life.

American psychologist Rosenberg travels all over the world to help negotiate conflicts between nations like Palestine and Israel, inner city students and school administrations, married couples as well as individual inner dissension.  In a densely populated environment where many people interact daily, there are ample opportunities to practice communication skills.  Harmless opinions can lead to ideological clashes that can escalate into full-fledged fights.  When I witness these moments, I wonder how these events could be replayed, having had access to Rosenberg’s approach.  I am constantly applying this to my yoga practice in an effort to shift my own deeply engrained patterns.  Until you get a chance to read his acclaimed book, here are some of main concepts from the NVC highlights reel:

(1) Observation versus evaluation.  We humans are meaning-making machines.  We are taught to evaluate everything.  Like breathing, we might not even notice when doing it.  Judgment is an important discerning tool.  But when it hinders one’s growth, then it’s no longer helpful.  Just learning to recognize when I am evaluating rather than observing has been helpful.  In the true spirit of self-determination, I invite you to notice when you are doing one or the other.  If you notice the evaluation, just observe yourself rather than evaluating yourself further.  When we label ourselves as good or bad, it can lead to self-imposed limitations, which is the opposite of freedom.

(2) Accountability for thoughts as feelings.  Often we use the term “feel” superimposed over a thought.  This can lead to further disconnection from our true feelings. So when you next declare, “I feel (blank),” notice if it’s a feeling or a disguised thought propelling you further into the habit of self-admonishment.  When our thoughts are masked as “feelings,” it can hide the deep emotions beneath what we “ought to” or “have to” be doing.  Rosenberg says that the inherent violence of “should” creates an inner tyranny and a lack of choice.  When practicing asana, notice how you talk to yourself.  Are there poses that you should or must be able to do?  Instead, replace “I should” with “I choose to.”  This shift in verbiage can make or break your approach on and off of the mat.

(3) Anger can indicate unmet needs.  The root of conflict is deeply embedded in basic needs that have yet to be addressed.  When frustrated, sarcastic or blaming another for some situation, you might be displacing your self-punishment onto others.  Nobody is actually making you angry.  You are the key to diffuse that anger by focusing on yourself and your unfulfilled demands beneath it all.  This turns the table back on you, to practice sovereignty of self, warts and all.

The practice of skillfully traversing all perspectives is the quest of yoga. Can you understand (and not necessarily agree with) various points of view while still holding your own?  That is the true test of the self-rule that we all seek.  Celebrate freedom FROM your outmoded ways and TO your true autonomous you.  

Happy Interdependence Day!

Cat From The Mat

July 2013